changing
by x-hail.ee
Summary: [soraxriku.] and it just keeps getting harder to deny it. [for Astaldotholwen.]


**changing.  
** ((And it just keeps getting harder to deny it.))

* * *

He figured that the three of them would always be best friends, all three of them. But he couldn't deny the feelings that stirred within him when he saw the only girl of their group giggling and hanging over the boy with chocolate spikes.

Mild annoyance, that soon grew to irritation, and then quite often sparked into anger.

But also fear. Fear and jealousy.

Wasn't he good enough? He was better at, well, _everything._ Always better than Sora.

So why did he always find her sitting with him, secrets in her eyes and a devious smile on her lips? That was what he saw – happiness from Sora, always, but a mysterious confidence always exuded from Kairi too. And it scared him to no end.

What did she know that he didn't?

What did she find in Sora, that wasn't in him?

It always left him troubled.

So he watched. Closely, every waking moment that they were together. He watched Sora, for that baffling part of the boy that drew others to him and not to Riku.

**x-x-x**

It was probably the eyes that did it for him first.

Blue. But in some inexplicable way, not just blue. Bluer than the ocean? Maybe. It sounded so cliché, but it was partly true. Bluer than the sky? Well, definitely, although that was maybe just because he rarely looked at the sky except across the sea, or at sunset. So maybe he wasn't a good judge of that analogy.

They were bluer than his own, certainly, since his had green in them. Aquamarine, the mayor and Kairi would call them, the mayor with pride and indulgence in his voice and Kairi with a coy little giggle. It was one of the few times he would get attention from Kairi.

His own eyes were very nice. But so were Sora's. And Kairi's. Aquamarine, sapphire, amethyst.

That couldn't be what Kairi liked.

So he kept watching, and flushed whenever Sora actually caught him gazing, but unable to look away from that entrancing blue gaze.

Hmm. Maybe it _was_ the eyes.

**x-x-x**

Well, there was one thing Riku had noticed – Kairi was all of a sudden spending a lot more time with him.

The only problem was, he couldn't figure out _why._

Maybe his hair looked better since it had suddenly grown a little longer? Maybe his eyes were brighter than usual? Maybe it was all his working out?

Maybe it was because he had started (inadvertently, of course) ignoring her.

That was probably it. Girls hated being ignored.

However, she just didn't sulk in the same way that Sora did; Sora's way was so adorable, it just drew attention, with that cute little pout and the big blue eyes.

…Not that he had noticed his pout. Of course not.

**x-x-x**

He tried really hard to look past Selphie, he did. But it was so damn hard when Sora was standing right beside her, practically leaping in the air to get his attention.

"Riku! Riku! Over here, Riku!"

_Yes, Sora. That is, indeed, my name. Now please shut up._

"I got you one too, Riku!"

One what? One one-way ticket to hell with the Selphster Tours? One incredibly stupid photo of the bunch of us, developed and waiting patiently for some clever person to use it for blackmail? One –

" – Your icecream just dripped on your arm, Riku."

Oh. Thank you, Sora. I am now well aware of that. Especially since the cold white stuff feels absolutely disgusting…

"D'you like it, Riku?"

Don't do the puppy-dog eyes, Sora. You know I can't resist those… no, stop now… oh, god.

He smiled then, not able to keep the internal monologue going without feeling extremely unfair to his best friend. "Yes."

That answering radiant smile made him feel extremely guilty, for some reason.

"Sora! Where's my icecream?"

"Ah! Um… here ya go, Kairi!"

The guilt intensified. Along with jealousy.

**x-x-x**

"Hey, Riku?"

"Yeah."

"We've been best friends for a really long time now, haven't we?"

"…Yeah."

"What're we going to do today?"

Smile. "What d'you feel like doing today, idiot?" Inside cringe. _That sounded so affectionate…_

Grin. "Let's go to the beach today, Riku!"

"Mm'kay." Smaller smile, in case he seemed too excited.

"Great! I'll just go call Kairi then!"

Instant scowl.

**x-x-x**

That was how it was a lot, now. Sora and Riku. And Kairi. An afterthought, certainly, but still always there. Not really how he wanted it to be.

It was getting so hard to just be alone; or at least, alone with his best friend. Almost impossibly difficult, one might say.

It was getting hard to deny… stuff, too.

Kairi was starting to get boobs, he noted. He noticed that one day after swimming, when Tidus went all red and excited and stuttery at Kairi in her new bikini – purple, of course.

And Sora…

Sora was developing muscles. Slim, wiry ones that changed his too-boyish appearance into something more of a comfortable teenager's look. No puppy fat any more, no siree. Well, not much, anyway. His face had started to change, too; older, less childish, more… something.

Riku found it mildly disturbing that he could recall all the differences about new Sora compared to old Sora, and next to none about Kairi.

**x-x-x**

Wakka had bloodied the poor little brunet's nose, and Riku was cleaning up.

And of course, Sora whined and ranted while his best friend held the wet cloth to his nose to down the swelling a little – "That wasn't fair, Riku! Did you see, Riku? We weren't even training or nothin' – he, he just _chucked_ it and it _hit_ me and he did it on _purpose_! How come he's not nice, like _you_, Riku?"

"Hn." Yay for the non-committal sound, as the youth was finding it increasingly hard to not fidget while holding that cloth and being on the receiving end of irate, beautiful blue eyes.

"There we go. All done." Satisfaction was apparent in the silver-haired boy's voice. "You can move now… if you want." Riku hastened to add, in case Sora thought, well, that he wanted him to go.

The smaller boy didn't move at all, just kept staring intently into the other's eyes.

"…What?"

Sora blinked. "Nothing," he said, all non-committal like, just like Riku had been mere moments ago, and shifted his weight until he could stand without falling backwards or onto Riku. "C'mon, we're going to be late," he called back over his shoulder with a ghost of the usual cheery grin, walking away.

"Late for what?" Riku asked, automatically heading after his friend.

"Dunno."

**-x-x-x-**

"I think you look cute," he had replied, stupidly enough, on the day of Sora's first date. With Kairi, that is. And it wasn't even a date, really, because Kairi had actually said it ("Let's go on a playdate, Sora!") so why did he have to screw it up?

…Well, that answer was clear. Because he kept on saying and doing stupid things around Sora lately. For no reason whatsoever. No reason.

He'd run. Need you even ask? Run to the island, a quick detour to the secret place but quickly shied away from that place when a memory of the small picture of Sora and Kairi had drawn together rose unbidden.

"Riku! Hey, Ri-ku!"

And running would have been perfectly, mutually, beneficial – Sora remaining confused and eventually forgetting about it, and Riku being allowed to wallow in his stupidity and misery – except that Sora knew all Riku's favourite haunts. And his knowledge of the island, more specifically the paopu tree, was no different.

Briefly, Riku wondered if he should have perhaps climbed a different tree. One of the palms, for once.

"Riku!" Sora yelled again, leaning both hands on knees, exaggeratedly puffing, cheeks round and red with indignation and exercise. "I told ya to wait!"

Riku glanced down, at his best friend in his first-date clothes, now mussed and crinkled after the run, and felt his cheeks heat up in embarrassment. Or something else. He turned hurriedly, looking away as though he was irritated. Stared off into the sunset, or would have if it had been that time, but instead watched the horizon. Blue meets blue. "Didn't hear you." He offered.

Sora pursed his lips crossly. "Oh, _sure_." He mocked, drawling the last word. "Why'd you run?"

The boy tensed, letting silver hair fall across the face that his friend couldn't see. No way was he going to answer that one. "Hope you have fun on your first date," he said, trying to sound teasing, trying to change the subject.

Curse the day Sora ever became observant. "That sounded bitter, Riku." He noted, clambering up the trunk.

Scowl. And no Kairi around to prompt it, either.

"The way I see it, though," Sora continued, "is that if one of my best friends isn't happy, that's more important than having fun myself."

Riku narrowed his eyes, glancing at Sora. "Kairi won't be happy when she finds out where you've been." He reminded the boy. "Kind of hypocritical, don't you think?"

Even the big word didn't faze Sora; he grinned back, unperturbed. "Ah, but she's not unhappy now, is she?"

There was no answer to that one, so he didn't even try to answer it.

So they sat there in silence, until the sun rose high in the sky and then went low again, with Sora talking and talking and occasionally the companionable silence, but no awkwardness, especially when Kairi didn't show – she'd probably conned Tidus into playing the boyfriend for the day, something the boy had probably been overjoyed about and something Selphie had been… well, less than.

And just as Riku had finally decided he was going to leave, that it was time to head off, his elbow brushed against a very yellow something, Selphie-dress-yellow, but something that smelt sweet and slightly bitter and not Selphie-like at all, and that something tumbled right into Sora's lap.

For the second time that day, and probably only the fifth time in his life, Riku felt himself turn tinted crimson with embarrassment. As Sora stared up in amazement, Riku did the only thing he could think of doing – he turned, and ran.

Or would have, had a hand not wrapped around his ankle at the crucial moment, and he had fallen in a very undignified, face-first pile of Riku on the sand.

Sora grinned triumphantly. "What's this, Riku?" He asked in a singsong voice, waving the fruit in his hand.

Riku buried his face further into the sand. Even his ears felt red.

"Because I think this might be a paopu, Riku," the brunet continued, giggling a little.

And fingers found their way to an exposed bit of Riku's cheek, and tweaked until Riku looked up.

Normally excited eyes were a solemn blue, and Riku swallowed a little as his gaze was held by those depths.

Then Sora shook his head a little, leaned in and placed a very, very small kiss on his cheek, and just said, "I think it's a bit too early to decide 'forever'. Why don't you give me one next year? We'll decide then." And he grinned again.

Then he helped his best friend up, and held his hand as they crossed the bridge, and all the way on the sand, and Riku still couldn't speak.

It hadn't been an all-out rejection, and he was happy with a lump in his throat.

* * *

A small soraxriku oneshot. For **Astaldotholwen, **simply because it be soraxriku and because I love that girl so very much. Everybody, enjoy. Hope the ending wasn't clichéd or anything. I tried to make it not clichéd. Well, yeah. There you have it. I'm trying to actually finish those millions of stories I've started and not finished, so this hopefully marks the beginning of that writing spree. xD Ciao!

Reviews adored. Flames loved too, because they're always hilarious.

**------------x. Tally.**


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